fall is upon us. as usual, I find myself amidst the transition of the season ahead of schedule. I’ve spent the last week resting, listening to my body + giving myself the space that is calling me. and yet, still finding myself restless.
from what I can tell, it’s because of 2 things. 1. I wasn’t expecting it, + 2. the outcome is unknown. let’s examine.
expectations - the root of all disappointment. I had plans this week + those plans were disrupted. I’m trying to think of a moment when I had plans that shifted + I felt no disappointment (:::still thinking:::). it’s interesting because I love to be spontaneous when I have no plans. this is an example of me acting in extreme polarity.
being in the unknown drives me to fight, question + doubt. I have an urge to escape the nothingness - the alleged “scariest place on earth.” why? because this is where all my inner gremlins come out to play.
the restlessness that I experienced this week was in my resistance to what is - creating my own suffering. I chose to feel disappointment + fight that the outcome of my week was not as I expected. in unraveling this today, I realized how much of this is still tied to performance, which is old paradigm + based in fear. and that led me to find compassion for myself in the truth that love is what need to expand.
when I trust my true essence, there is no need to prove anything.
the void. it’s the magical space between. it’s space to process the last season. it’s a container for healing + releasing what’s in the way of clarity in the next season.
the void isn’t planned. it appears when we’re ready to elevate. sometimes it feels like the complete opposite. that’s because we’re busy grasping + tethering ourselves to the past (where we’ve found safety in the last season), instead of trusting what is ready to reveal itself to us as a way forward.
an invitation for us all to inquire: what has come to a completion in this season? how can I call upon the energy of the past within me to find freedom? what new ideas are emerging?
IT’S STILL PROGRESS
even in the resistance, the fighting, the doubting, etc., the energy is shifting. it is through that expression that things change (even if it’s in the constitution of your body) - it may just mean that you’re one step closer to the moment that changes everything.
so, I encourage you to resist + to question it all - speak how you feel! it is through your expression that the truth reveals itself; you must create the space for it to unearth. this is why the throat is such a powerful manifestation tool.
if you’re in a space of feeling like the saboteur of your progress, please know that you are still on your path. the awareness of “feeling like the saboteur” is evidence of it. when the timing is right, your next step will become clear.
in the meantime, thank you for being a part of this extraordinary journey called life.
I stand, you stand. together, we rise. x
KQ
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